ahh love

We are coming up on John's 3 rd birthday-I am so excited for him-he is going to start preschool 2 days a week and I know he will enjoy himself and learn to be independent from mom, his brother and sister! I remember so clearly when I saw his face for the 1st time-- my heart feels heavy just thinking of that day! My life changed over night -like I could have never imagined.  The love that we able to feel for our children is unbelievable!
   I have no idea what my purpose in life is besides being a mother --It is not that I feel empty at all -I just wonder if their is another purpose for me as well. I spent so much of my 20's when I would of been making these decisions stoned and drunk and just being a free spirit as my dad puts it! I  reflect back now - and I was not free at all, I was weighed down with sadness and loneliness.  I had no direction and wasted many years--but all of these experiences led  me to who I am today- do I regret things--some of them yes, but most no.
 I think through these life experiences I have come to understand how precious these days are, how lucky I am to have a stable loving husband and father for my children. They're so lucky to have him as their example! For me to have a solid man who knows himself-is exactly what I needed, and what I asked for- at least my heart asked for. God knew what I needed before I even knew it--not long after meeting him, I really started to clean myself up,realizing that this person is here with me because they love me for who I am, excepted me- he saw all the goodness in me and in turn I started to see it-- I knew very strongly that this was the path my life was taking and I was so ready. If we had known then what was in store for us in next few years!
Anywho feeling stable in these areas of my life makes me wonder what is next- and gives me the security to feel like I could explore my options as far as my purposes on this earth- I am faithful in time I will see more clearly or things will clearly present themselves.......